Haunted Mansion Review: Disney’s Ghostly Ride Never Springs To Life

Buckle up for a bumpy ride through Disney’s latest grave-digging venture, the 2023 reboot of “The Haunted Mansion.” More reminiscent of a stalled theme park ride than a cinematic masterpiece, this film seems to have lost its way en route to the silver screen. It’s like a Coney Island funhouse with a $155 million price tag.

Our hapless protagonist, Ben Matthias, played by LaKeith Stanfield, is a mourning young widower who dabbles in theoretical physics when he isn’t leading historical walking tours through the captivating streets of New Orleans. Stanfield, though a talent to be reckoned with, seems to be sleepwalking through this film, his usually vibrant performances reduced to a dull shadow.

Stanfield’s Ben, armed with his ghost-detecting camera, is roped into a spectral shenanigan by a quirky priest (Owen Wilson in his trademark lopsided grin), a gritty mother (Rosario Dawson), and her son (Chase W. Dillon). The young Dillon might just be the silver lining of this spooky cloud, pulling off a surprisingly heartfelt performance amidst the chaos.

Joining our troupe midway are the eccentric medium (Tiffany Haddish) and a curmudgeonly professor (Danny DeVito). But alas! Their comedic prowess is washed out by weak writing and stilted dialogue. Oh, and let’s not forget about Jared Leto, tucked behind a CG mask as the notorious Hatbox Ghost. It’s more trick than treat, with Leto’s usual intensity suffocated by a surplus of computer-generated spectacles.

Director Justin Simien’s “Dear White People” was a poignant sociopolitical statement that held its ground. But here, his directorial flair seems to have taken a detour, swallowed up by the vortex of Disney’s brand preservation. His Haunted Mansion has all the quirks of a knock-off, with plasticky CGI and muddled, murky settings.

This Haunted Mansion is no haunted delight. It is overlong and suffers from an identity crisis, flitting between being a thrill ride for kids and a cerebral horror movie for adults. I appreciate the daring, but it just doesn’t gel. To top it all off, the entire thing just felt emotionally hollow. For a film centered around spirits and dealing with loss, I felt surprisingly untouched by the emotions portrayed on screen.

In the end, Disney’s latest spin on “The Haunted Mansion” feels like a haunted house assembled in the dark. For a studio known for weaving magic, this one lacks the enchantment and thrill you’d expect. Instead of an exhilarating roller coaster, we get a dreary carousel that’s lost its charm.

RATING: 2.0 out of 5

Haunted Mansion is in theaters now.

GE XWFE Refrigerator Water Filter, Genuine Replacement Filter, Certified to Reduce Lead, Sulfur, and 50+ Other Impurities, Replace Every 6 Months for Best Results, Pack of 1

(32456)

$49.11 (as of February 23, 2025 08:28 GMT -08:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)

Massive Beads Black Tourmaline - Super Protection - Handmade Yoga Stretch Elastic Bracelet Natural Stone Crystal Healing Power Energy Gifts for Unisex Adult 8mm

(1870)

$9.99 (as of February 23, 2025 08:28 GMT -08:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)

Apple 2024 Mac Mini Desktop Computer with M4 chip with 10‑core CPU and 10‑core GPU: Built for Apple Intelligence, 16GB Unified Memory, 256GB SSD Storage, Gigabit Ethernet. Works with iPhone/iPad

(392)

$549.00 (as of February 23, 2025 08:29 GMT -08:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)

Owala FreeSip Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle with Straw for Sports, Travel, and School BPA-Free Sports Water Bottle, 24 oz, Denim

(64017)

$27.99 (as of February 23, 2025 08:28 GMT -08:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)

Magic: The Gathering Tarkir: Dragonstorm Commander Deck - Temur Roar

$44.99 (as of February 23, 2025 08:29 GMT -08:00 - More infoProduct prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.)