Only In An Alternate Dimension Would I See ‘Green Hornet’

by Chris January 11, 2011

I continue to await the day when audiences grow tired of Seth Rogen. With a Pineapple Express sequel just announced and Green Hornet tracking well with dumb 12-15 year-olds, that day doesn’t look to come anytime soon (note: not saying all 12-15 year-olds are dumb, just that this annoying film is tracking well with those who are indeed the least educated and non-creative types in their demographic). So while people who want to ruin Hollywood more than it already is give their money to Hornet this weekend over Tron, I will be in Anaheim re-entering The Grid in a D-box motion seat. And when I’m not inside the perfect system, well, the closest I’ll be to Green Hornet is imagining in my mind what would have been had Nic Cage stuck with his role as the film’s villain.

Now, I love Nicolas Cage in pretty much everything. His turn as Big Daddy in Kick-Ass last year should have been the acting event to silence all his naysayers. Unfortunately he makes it too easy for them with films like Season of the Witch (which they should actually SEE before mocking, since it’s NOT as horrible as they’d expect it/like it to be).

Anyway, check out this FunFact in an article over at The NY Times: “(Michel Gondry) was unable to work with Nicolas Cage, the filmâ€™s original villain. For reasons known only to him, he insisted on using a Jamaican accent.
â€œI was quite relieved when he announced he no longer wanted the part,â€ Mr. Gondry said.”

Is it me or should Me-Shell shut his French trap and be grateful someone let him direct anything again let alone a $130 comic-book film after Be Kind Rewind? Dude hit the wall after Eternal Sunshine. Go back to Bjork and Daft Punk videos where you showed some creative genius and leave the comic book films to Tim Burton and Nic Cage! 😉